Everard Baby Challenges: October 2012

I sat Baldur on the floor in front of me. "Now sit there and don't move. I'm trying to watch Heroes, and you are not helping." Baldur finally sits still for more than a minute and begins to look almost absorbed in the episode. "Mummy. Who's that man?" he asks, as Nathan wanders around doing politics. "Nathan Petrelli. He can fly like brother Loki can." I respond.

I'm heavily pregnant, and glad that I have already take it upon myself to teach Baldur his life skills. That would have been terrible to do at this stage. I settle myself further into the seat. Electra was right. It would be terrible to be a sofa. "Thank you sofa." I say, quietly. I am snapped out of my musings by the vibrating of my mobile. I have no idea what possessed Levi's to put pockets near the crotch on their jeans, but I REALLY wish they hadn't.
Skye- Hey Parker!
Paisley-Hey.
Skye-I can hear how sad you are. What's going on?
She explained to me how she felt that she cheated, and I said calmly, "Geez, you're an idiot."
Excuse me! she said defensively. That was mean, thank you!
I laughed warmly. Paisley, it's okay! Don't think that, please. You did not cheat on me. It's just your job.
Paisley- I'm sorry, but that doesn't make me feel any better, Everard. It really doesn't. I can't explain it, but I just... I feel bad.
I sighed. I wish I didn't live so far away. I want to come over there and slap you.
Paisley-You know, I think I'm just going to go to bed. Night.
Oops. I may have ruined something quite important there. I push the thought from my mind and return to Heroes in time to see Hiro teleporting away to New York for the first time. You know what? I didn't want to see Peter Petrelli fly ANYWAY. If it wasn't the decorators tramping up and down MY staircase all day to redecorate the bedroom, it was my son making noise.

Of course, everybody would choose that moment to get home from school. Hela comes in with her hands locked between Patches (her former imaginary friend turned boyfriend) and her big sister Frigga. Frigga in turn is holding onto the hand of her current boy, Michael Dann. It’s nice that my kids are all so close with one another right now, especially since we’re used to it being the other way around. I turn off the TV and ease myself up. This pregnancy has been hell. I blame Paisley. I mean, it was her kid that fathered the child, right? Oh yeah! I never did say. The father of my children was none other than Erik Parker. We’d sperm banked it again because it honestly didn’t feel right, what with me dating his mother and all. But if I hadn’t… lets just say he’s one of my favourite children.

They were discussing the costume party that one of their friends was having and what they were going to go as. It was strange to think that it had been a year since I’d had Leilah and the escapade with her, but I wouldn’t change this life for anything. Frigga says, “Mum; we need you do do us a favour, well two actually.” and puts on her most adorable face. “Go on….” I reply, suddenly suspicious. Hela jumps in. “We need you to put on the last scenes of Of Mice and Men for our study assignment.” she says, but this shouldn’t be a problem, so why are they asking? Frigga then continues. “And you need to make us costumes which will be so totally kick-ass that nobody even looks at anyone else.” Ah. That would be why. They expect manual labour from the pregnant woman. “Costumes and films. Gotcha.”
I nod, happy to be of some use to my kids and be able to put my sewing skills to good use as well. Of course nowadays there isn’t much cause for sewing so it isn’t a skill I can use regularly. I ease myself up reasonably quickly and waddle to the DVD rack. Somewhere in the mess of cases I find our copy of Of Mice And Men and I settle down to watch it with the family. Fenrir likes it because he loves the animals, and Baldur is napping on the floor. Hela and Frigga are absorbed in the footage, as am I until I realise what film I am watching.

As he end credits roll I stand up and go to make dinner, but I keep crying into the pan. “Lennie didn’t do it on purpose. Why did George have to do that? They could have just hidden Lennie or something. CURSE YOU JOHN STEINBECK. Now I’m crying on the pasta.” I manage to finish cooking and serve up a nutritional meal to my children. However, it seems that once again I am destined to miss dinner, because I go into labour after just a couple of bites. Eventually, I give birth to baby 63, Parker Everard, 64-Annie Everard and their brother Beckett Everard -65.

I age them up into toddlers at the party that night and they are beautiful babies.

And then it is time for the birthday of Fenrir. Fortunately for their costume party, Hela and Frigga are still only B’s so they will not be aging up just yet. The party is on Friday night, so they will be growing up in a couple of days time on Saturday morning.

I return from having my child to Loki’s room. He is now sitting on his bed and reading, which is pretty normal for him when he isn’t making mischief or something similar. “Okay. Spill. Why were you at home today?” I ask. He puts down his book slowly and turns to face me. “I was at school. Or at least, one f me was.” ‘One of him. What the heck is he on about?’ I think. “I learned how to create copies of myself, which can go about and do tasks unaided. when they return to me, I absorb all the knowledge and memories from that day. It’s rather clever really.” I nod, trying to absorb the information. I quickly decide to accept it and move on. “So you still learn everything and you can do more than you would at school?” I confirm. He nods in response. “Well I’m not too happy about this, but I’ve never confessed to being a good mother. So what the hell. Send your double to school. Stay here with me and practice magic. But you have to do your own homework.” Okay. So I’m probably a little TOO easy-going. Sue me. I leave my son to his book and decide to celebrate birthdays!Fenrir has his father’s hair and blue eyes which are neither mine or his father’s. It is strange having a normal looking child but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Frigga and Hela are still much the same Hela reuses to say more than a few words at a time and never talks to strangers. It is going to be a nightmare to take her anywhere that she needs to ask for things, I can tell. Frigga is much more outgoing, and she loves to sing and dance. I signed her up for ballet after school and it is her favourite thing to come and show us whatever new move she learned over dinner, but before family game night. Odin becomes a very confident teenager. He has lots of friends, and he spends lots of time at the park and cinemas. I trust him not to get up to anything too bad, and he wouldn’t betray that trust. He hasn’t got a girlfriend, since the one he did like decided to ‘Friend zone’ him. I know how that feels. Been there, done that. Loki stays as a teenager as punishment for not going to school, and also because I like to watch him suffer. Muahaha. No. That’s not true. It’s mostly because he asked to stay as a teen until at least prom. I think he’s got a date or something.

The very next day, while all the kids are at school a man knocks on my door. But he is no ordinary man. This guy has wings. Like, actual wings coming out of his back. Loki is in the lounge, messing with his magic so I send him upstairs, I assume he takes the passage to the barn because I do not hear from him again the rest of the afternoon. The fairy guy (Agaricwitch is his name) and I get to making babies. Then we sit over coffee and discuss him. “So, you’re a fairy?” I say and he nods. “And you can fly and do magic?” I ask and h demonstrates his flight by hovering a few feet off the floor. “I’m sorry for all these questions. I’ve never seen a real fairy before. Why did you need me to reproduce with?”

“The fairies are running low on population because it is not very often that we can mate, once every 25 of your human years. So we use the loophole of having human mates whenever possible. The downside of this is that the baby has a 50:50 chance of being born human, but overall it tends to pay off,” he glances at the sun. “I must leave. My one word of advice, do not go out on the night of the full moon. It could get… dangerous.”

And then he vanishes, leaving me sat at the table with a coffee cup and waiting for Paisley to finally turn up. She has taken it upon herself to finally come to Cherwood and we are going to stay in and watch a movie. And so that we actually watch it, I have chosen Sherlock Holmes to be our movie. She walks in and plants herself on my lap about ten minutes later, before pressing her lips to my own. “Paisley. The movie.” I mutter. She kisses me again. ‘Okaaaayyy. Screw that. Paisley’s here!’ I think.

Hela

Hi there! I’m Hela Everard. I’m nine years old and I live in Cherwood. My mummy is in love with my Aunty Paisley, and sometimes they kiss. ICKY! Kissing. Some of the older kids at school kiss each other, like my brother, Odin. He likes to kiss Kelsey. She’s his girlfriend. But you can’t tell anyone. Even Mummy doesn’t know. I know lots of things, because I’m quiet nobody bothers with me, so I hear all kinds of things. This also means that I know a lot about my sister, Frigga. She’s very popular, but there’s this one girl there who is so mean to her. I just want to hit her, but mummy says hitting is bad, so I can’t. But this girl says lots of nasty things about us, and Frigga especially. This really upsets her, and don’t tell anyone but I’ve seen it make her cry.

So I have decided to make everything better for Frigga. I don’t know how, but I will. We stick together a lot, because I’m shy and she isn’t but it’s all sisterly companionship and I think she would never talk to me if we weren’t. So anyway, we get home from school one day and we go up to our room to do our homework like usual and I talk to her about it. In the end, we pinky swear to look after each other and all that other stuff. But there is still the problem of that mean girl.

Odin

I get home a little late on Tuesday, I was on a study date with Kelsey, and I know what you’re thinking but we did actually study. I’m ony allowed to go to prom if I ace my algebra test and I FULLY intend to go to that dance, Kelsey on my arm. I walk into the house and dinner is sat on the table waiting for me along with a note from my brother.

Odin (Gods above she chooses strange names!)

Mother dearest went to have the next child. I’m in the barn and it might be dangerous. Don’t come looking. Mac and Cheese on the table, or you can have any of mother’s cooking-kick’s leftovers. The firecracker Tofu is the best.

-Loki’d.

My brother’s looing scrawl and his ever-amusing (not) signature are on the bottom of the page. Either way I decide to try this tofu. How bad could it be? I take a bite and my tongue is on fire. I can almost see the steam coming out of my ears. There is a laughing from the top of the stairs, my siblings. I should have know better than to trust the kid named after the God of mischief. I will never learn. But I take a minute to stop fuming like Mom teaches, and begin to see the funny side of it. I wander upstairs and high five with my brother and sisters. “You won this round.” I say, narrowing my eyes.

R-A-N-D-O-M-T-I-M-E-C-H-A-N-G-E-T-O-P-R-O-M-!

The gym was dressed up a little more than usual. It seemed the theme was Balloons and coloured lights in the gym. Or at least, that’ what I got from it.

Kelsey and I danced for a while, and the whole time Loki was leaning on the wall, and looking pleased for himself for no apparent reason. I put it out of my head for the time being. Kelsey and I walk off to a dark corner to sit down and talk. As I lean over to pull out my chair, she twists her face to mine and kisses me. Like… properly. More properly than ever before and I just want the moment to go on but there is a scream from on the dance floor.

I look around and a puddle of water is dripping from the ceiling and my brother is nowhere to be seen. The entire class rushes out of the doors and we are left to return home, before normal but we’re all happy to have been here today.

Skye

Before I know it I have given birth to a new little life form. Whether it’s human or fairy, I’ll love it unconditionally. Or rather, Him.

Meet my newest little addition, Baldur Everard!

Not long afterwards, it is birthday time for anyone older than a toddler. Prom has been and gone and everyone has brilliant grades.

Without further ado,

Frigga and Hela: